My bedroom in Auckland

I’m tired. Really, really tired. I feel like this past year I have struggled with sleep issues and am nearing my wits’ end. When I first moved to New Zealand, I lived in a house on Richmond Road in Auckland’s Grey Lynn neighbourhood. The house was sweet and the flatmates nice enough, but I should never have moved there for the simple fact that it was on a main road. I thought that perhaps the street wouldn’t be loud at night, as it was Auckland and not Toronto after all. But no, buses and cars zoomed down the street at all hours of the day and night, and on weekends munters coming home from the bars on Ponsonby Road would bluster their way past my bedroom window waking me up with shrieks and yells. Sunday mornings, the Tongan church across the road would call worshippers to prayer with drums. Wonderfully Pacific of them, but also quite frustrating.

When I left Auckland, I moved to Wellington. While sleep there was improved, the stresses of that moment in time left me so strung out that I rarely slept more than two or three hours in one go without waking. When I gave up on trying to make a life there, and moved to Nelson, for the first time in my life I was sharing a room with not one, but THREE other people. On one hand I felt such incredible relief at being free from worrying about money and rent, but on the other I now how other people directly affecting my sleep through snores, midnight bathroom calls and one annoying Czech girl who would rise at 6am and put the kettle on 15 feet from where I lay sleeping.

I think the best sleep Ive had this past year came when I was staying with Barbara, when I first came to Christchurch. She offered me a wonderfully dark and quiet room to sleep in, on a big comfy bed. It was in a word, heaven. When I moved into my own place, I hoped for a similar experience, but as Ive talked about before problems with my neighbours (drunken laughter, alarms going off forever at 5am, high heels on hardwood floors at 6am, running around from room to room) prevented me from having restful sleep for six months.

Now that I’m living in the new flat (which I love, btw), I find that a year of frustrated sleep has left me unable to sink into the deep slumber I so desperately crave. My room is too light for one, the curtains while thick bring in a lot of ambient light from the street. I live near where the new Council building is going up, and construction happens at all hours of the day and night. It’s not uncommon for massively large trucks to come and drop loads off at 2am, or for hammering and saws to start up at 6am. The only morning they seem to have off is Sunday, so now I look forward to that particular day with an almost holy fervor: finally! I can sleep in!

Even when bone tired, I find I wake up several times in the night. Ive become the lightest of sleepers you could whisper in the hallway outside my door and I would wake. The affect of all of this is that I’m sluggish during the day, mornings are brutally hard — I cant focus, am easily distracted (yes, more than usual) and I have zero energy to do anything after work. I hate making commitments to do things because I rarely have the energy to stick with them. Some days I’m fine, and will go grocery shopping or for runs, but making plans with other people and then sticking with those plans? Forget it. I find I end up bailing more often than not. Homesickness isn’t helping the matters any, by the way. I find myself sad and missing home a lot these days and I cant help but think that if I were sleeping better, Id be going out more in the week and enjoying life in Christchurch more and not have time for wishful thinking.

So now, I’m looking for help. I’m tired of being tired all the time. I’m exercising plenty (swimming, running, surfing, weight training) and eating super well. I’m losing weight (slowly), and drinking lots of water during the day. I found an eye mask a friend gave me in Auckland, and will try using that tonight. I have earplugs as well, but they dont really help that much. I’m going to give melatonin a try, and pick up a small fan while I am at it. Perhaps the combination of white noise and cooler temps will help keep me asleep.

Wish me luck!

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